If you’ve been together long enough, you know when something feels “off” with your spouse. Sometimes you can chalk it up to having a bad day, or even just going through a rough patch. Sometimes, it’s more serious.
How can you tell, though, when a rough patch is turning into something more? What are the signs that your spouse may be considering a divorce?
Signs of cheating
Just as with your financial practices, you know your spouse’s normal social and interpersonal behavior. When he or she deviates from what you’re accustomed to, it sends up red flags that should make you take pause.
- Your spouse extends or schedules business trips at the last minute for an obscure reason and offers vague accounts of the trip upon his or her return home.
- All of a sudden your spouse is hitting the gym and taking more pride in his or her appearance. Maybe he or she has a new haircut and has started dressing nicer than he or she has since you were dating.
- Your spouse pays more attention to others when you do go out, or avoids making physical contact with you when you are together. The two of you stop going out alone.
- His or her cellphone is locked with a new password, and he or she acts “weird” if you touch the phone.
- There has been a noticeable decrease in your intimacy and lovemaking.
Financial clues
In most households, there is an order to taking care of the finances. However your household runs its finances, you know when something appears to be off kilter.
- Regular cash withdrawals or account transfers have been made over a period of time. This could either be to pay for an attorney, a private investigator, a significant other, or just stashing the money into a separate account to build a nest egg with which to leave.
- You notice atypical credit card charges for expensive restaurants, or stores but you haven’t noticed your spouse wearing anything new and you haven’t received any gifts. Or, perhaps you are now being showered with expensive gifts and experiences, often out of the blue.
- Experiencing a sudden inability to access banking information that you’ve always had access to may mean your spouse changed the password. This could be an attempt to stall you from seeing withdrawals, or payments made to an attorney.
- Out-of-the-ordinary questions are being asked, or suggestions are being made about finances, such as selling the house.
- Financial documents are missing or appear to have been disturbed and your spouse made no mention of looking for something.
Changes in parenting style
If you have children, you may also notice a change in accepting parenting responsibilities. Your spouse is becoming more engaged with your children by taking them on special outings, coming to school events, or even initiating handling the day-to-day care. This may be upon advice of an attorney who is gearing up for a custody fight.
Each of these examples on its own could amount to nothing more than a bad day, or your spouse affecting a major life change. Taken together, however, they could signal that he or she is preparing to leave. The best thing you can do for your marriage if you want to save it is talk with your spouse. It will be difficult, but it is a necessary step. If you think that it is too late to save your marriage, or if you are ready for your marriage to end, then it is time to meet with an experienced Nashville divorce attorney to start planning your future.
To learn about your legal rights, contact Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC, today. To reserve an in-person or video consultation, call our office at 615-454-9899, or reach out to us through our contact page.
Karla C. Miller has devoted her entire career to the practice of family law in Tennessee. She attended Auburn University and Nashville School of Law, and upon graduation in 1996, she opened her own law firm and has been assisting families throughout Tennessee since then. Learn more about Karla C. Miller here.
