Divorce is messy; there is no getting around that. The only thing that you can control is your own behavior. The more you dig in, the more you will be digging into your wallet by the time it’s all over.
While nobody necessarily expects you to be overjoyed that your entire life is about to change, there are things that you can do to make it a little more tolerable for yourself, such as finding a good support system, or setting aside time strictly for yourself. But there are also things you can do to help your Nashville divorce lawyer which will help you in the long run, too.
The waiting game
Every attorney knows the call or email will come saying that you have to be out of town for work, that you have a medical appointment, or other reason you need to reschedule a meeting, deposition, or hearing; it’s inevitable. If you know ahead of time that you cannot be available on certain dates, make sure to inform your attorney at the start. Certain emergencies might not be able to be avoided – a child’s health concern, the car that breaks down on the road – but giving as much advance notice as possible is always your best bet.
Remember that the steps in the process have a lot of moving parts, and when you reschedule, it can take a few hours to resolve by the time everyone has been notified, finds and agrees to a new date, and proper notice has been provided to everyone once again.
Intentionally causing delays without good cause may also create unnecessary tension, escalating the situation between you and your spouse, not to mention irritating the Court.
Just be honest
Your attorney knows the key questions to ask you based upon the situation, as you have explained it to him or her. These questions are not intended to put you on the spot or to make you feel as though you might be to blame for your marriage ending. They are designed to help your attorney craft a plan to help you.
Your attorney’s job is to protect you as best he or she can. To do that requires having the full truth so that nothing your soon-to-be-ex-spouse says about you will come as a surprise. You may be tying your attorney’s hands if a problem arises months into the process. Tell him or her about an issue early enough that he or she has the ability to approach it head on and is not blindsided at an inopportune time.
Time is of the essence
The legal field is deadline driven, and missing deadlines can have devastating consequences for your case. It is imperative that you provide accurate information to your attorney in a timely manner, especially during the discovery process.
Failing to meet a deadline can cause you to be dragged into court to explain why you haven’t turned over the requested information. Even worse, you could be admitting to something as being true by default, just by failing to answer the question on time. If your spouse states that you committed adultery, but you haven’t, do you want the statement that you cheated to become fact as far as the court is concerned?
In general, being prompt is the best thing you can do. Check your email and your voicemails for message from your lawyer, and return any paperwork you’ve been tasked with filling out. It can help you avoid a lot of aggravation, and help us keep your divorce process moving along smoothly.
Trust your lawyer
Take your divorce attorney’s advice; you’re paying for it for a reason. If your attorney tells you to steer clear of certain situations with your spouse, or not to grab that drink with your male friend from college because it could compromise your case, listen. The same goes for what you post to social media: if your Nashville divorce lawyer recommends that you take a break, you should. It’s all to your benefit.
Follow the rules when it comes to your children
Do not play games when it comes to your children. If you don’t have custody and your goal is to get it, follow the court order and show that you are willing to do everything in your child’s best interests. Pay your child support as scheduled, stick to the visitation schedule, show up on time, be present when spending time with your kids by engaging in age-appropriate activities, and provide or return items you need to care for them during your parenting time.
And whatever you do, do not badmouth your ex to your children, even if – especially if – your ex is badmouthing you. It can be so, so hard not to defend yourself, but your best course of action is to avoid the temptation at all costs.
Doing all of this will make it much easier for your attorney to show the judge that you mean it when you say that you want the parental responsibility, and that you’re prepared to handle it. Showing your frustration and resentment with the other parent will only land you back in court, and if your attorney cannot show that you had a valid reason for violating a court order, getting what you want will become infinitely more difficult.
If you are considering divorce, talk with the Nashville divorce lawyers at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC to discuss how we can help you transition more smoothly into the next chapter of your life. Ending your marriage is already difficult, but it can be easier with the right help in your corner. To reserve an in-person or video consultation in our Nashville office, reach out to us through our contact page or call 615-391-4200.
Karla C. Miller has devoted her entire career to the practice of family law in Tennessee. She attended Auburn University and Nashville School of Law, and upon graduation in 1996, she opened her own law firm and has been assisting families throughout Tennessee since then. Learn more about Karla C. Miller here.
