Married couples who have children have a danger lurking in their future – an increased chance of divorcing once their children leave home for good. Often, once a couple has children they focus the majority of their energy and attention on caring for the children, providing for their futures, and making decisions about their children, and they tend to neglect their own relationship. And then, the unthinkable happens: the last child leaves the house and the couple becomes “empty nesters.” It is a time the couple has looked forward to ever since those early days of sleepless nights with newborns. Now they are alone together and they discover that they do not know how to be alone together.

Coincidentally, this often occurs when the couple is approaching mid-life and there are other big changes going on in each of their lives. The empty nest syndrome is a significant contributor to the phenomenon of “gray divorce,” which represents a growing trend of people over the age 50 getting divorced at alarmingly high rates. According to a study conducted by Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate for Americans over the age of 50 has doubled in the past twenty years.

If the empty nest represents a crossroads in the life of a couple, they have some options to consider. They can try marriage counseling as a catalyst for reminding them of why they came together in the first place, and to decide if they are both committed to making the marriage last for the rest of their lives. Another option, of course, is divorce. Once the nest is empty, both parties might feel a sudden urge for freedom. They might be ready to take a renewed look at their lives and what they want. Depending on the state of their relationship, marriage might not be at the top of their list – at least, not the marriage they are in at the moment.

When you are planning for divorce there are a lot of things you will have to address. While child custody and support may no longer be an issue if your children are grown and out of the house, you will still need to review the family finances and your individual finances. You will need copies of important documents such as deeds and titles, insurance policies, income tax returns, and other documents that pertain to your situation.

You will also have to look at the respective retirement plans and Social Security as you each determine how you will provide for yourself if you are alone in retirement.

If you are married with kids and you do not want your marriage to fade once the kids fly away from the nest, take the time to plan exactly what you and your partner will do together once the kids are gone. Dream and plan and save towards that vision. Save some of your energy and focus and attention for your spouse while the kids are growing up. Stay connected and keep doing fun things together. If you want your bond to last you must be able to see each other as loving partners in addition to partners in parenting.

If you are an empty nester and you are sure that you will be filing for divorce once the children are out of the house, you may want to schedule an in-person or video consultation with a Nashville divorce attorney from the law firm of Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC to discuss your options.

You both know when it is time to call it quits and file for divorce. An experienced Nashville divorce lawyer can discuss your case with you and help you get the best outcome possible. Please contact us, or call 615-391-4200 to reach the knowledgeable legal team at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC, and reserve an in-person or video consultation time today.