Regardless of how badly things seem to be going in your marriage, it can be difficult to wrap your mind around actually filing for divorce. It can also come as a shock, even when you know that things are not as good as they could be, to be served with divorce papers. On the question of whether it makes any difference at all who goes down to the courthouse and files for divorce first, there are proponents on both sides of the issue, but this post is all about how you can work filing first to your best advantage.
The party who files the complaint for divorce is the plaintiff, and the plaintiff is responsible for serving the other party (the Respondent) with a copy of the divorce papers to the other party. Filing the divorce complaint may also allow you to choose the court where your case will be heard and the timing of the divorce case, depending on how divorces are docketed in your jurisdiction.
If you have a spouse who is threatening to leave the jurisdiction with your children or otherwise do you or them any harm, filing the complaint for divorce first can stabilize the situation as the Court can then issue orders regarding what happens or doesn’t happen regarding temporary custody of the children, and further, the Court can issue a temporary restraining order tailored to your specific situation.
You might be in a situation where your spouse has completely cut you off financially, such as closing or removing your name from checking and savings accounts, credit card accounts or draining bank accounts and secreting the money elsewhere. In order to protect your interests, you should file for divorce immediately so that the Court can address these types of actions in a way which can be enforced by the Court with its contempt powers. In Tennessee, once a divorce is filed, a set of “statutory injunctions” automatically goes into effect prohibiting each party from doing certain things, such as dissipating or liquidating assets, canceling health or life insurance or allowing either to lapse, and erasing data or other information located on a computer’s hard drive or another digital medium.
If your marital estate is substantial or complicated, it is in your best interest to meet with attorneys before your spouse does, because you will then have a “jump” on the process of learning important issues that may arise in your divorce and how to be proactive in addressing them. Further, there are times when the big advantage to filing first is to keep the other spouse from liquidating assets of the marriage, as described above. And, remember, the option to drop the divorce action and reconcile is always on the table. But you only get one chance to be proactive.
The intangible advantage to taking a proactive approach and filing the complaint for divorce first might be an emotional one, but it just might be worth it when you know that there is no chance of reconciling your marriage. Taking the time to prepare emotionally and financially, and choosing the attorney you want to work with, can help you feel as prepared as you can be to face the challenge of a divorce.
Sometimes it becomes clear that your marriage is over and it is time to end it. If you have questions about divorce, you are invited to call 615-391-4200 or contact the experienced Nashville divorce attorneys at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC to discuss your case. Please reserve an in-person or video consultation time with us, and we will explain your options.
Karla C. Miller has devoted her entire career to the practice of family law in Tennessee. She attended Auburn University and Nashville School of Law, and upon graduation in 1996, she opened her own law firm and has been assisting families throughout Tennessee since then. Learn more about Karla C. Miller here.
