10-common-questions-about-divorce-in-tennesseeYour marriage is coming to an end. For some people this news brings a sigh of relief and the anticipation of letting go of a relationship that you both agree cannot be salvaged. But for others, it can be sad news which plunges you into a time of mourning and regret. Wherever you find yourself on that continuum, if you are preparing for divorce you might have lots of “random” questions swirling through your mind at night. The following are a few questions that someone who is thinking about divorce might be wondering about.

  1. How do I serve divorce papers to the other party?

Once you have filed the divorce petition, the law requires that you serve a copy of it to your spouse. By “serving” your spouse, it does not mean that you hand them a copy of the documents; rather, you would hire a process server to serve the paperwork. You can send the documents to your spouse by certified mail, which requires them to sign before receiving them, or if you do not know their address, you can publish a notice in a newspaper of the court’s choosing.

  1. Can we come to a verbal agreement about the terms of our divorce?

The two of you may have made verbal promises and agreements with one another about aspects of your divorce, but unless there is a signed paper version of it, the court has no way of knowing about it or enforcing it. So, no: a verbal agreement is not sufficient in a divorce, but it is a good first step. You must follow up and get those agreements in writing, following all of the specific requirements of the law.

  1. Will I get financial support while we are separated?

Your divorce attorney will advise you about your options for temporary support while the divorce proceedings are going on. This kind of support is referred to as pendente lite support, and your attorney may file a request for a hearing on spousal and child support and, possibly, attorney fees if you do not have a way to pay them.

  1. Am I allowed to represent myself in a divorce?

Legally, yes – but you shouldn’t. You should know that even divorce attorneys hire a lawyer when they are getting divorced. The divorce itself is a stressful event, and add to that your work, family responsibilities and your lack of knowledge of matrimonial law, you can easily get in over your head, or make mistakes that will cost you. You are best served when you have access to experienced legal guidance. If your spouse has already hired counsel, you put yourself at an instant disadvantage from day one by representing yourself.

  1. If domestic abuse has been an issue, can supervised visits be a requirement?

If your spouse has a record of domestic assault, you may have serious concerns about them getting custody of your child. Whenever there is domestic violence involved in a child custody case, family law judges in Tennessee will take the situation into account when they are deciding parenting time. The court recognizes that both parents have a right to parenting time with the child, but the court also bases all decisions about child custody with the best interest of the child in mind. Supervised visits in a neutral location are an option in cases where abuse has been an issue, but judges decide these cases on an individual basis.

  1. Who pays the legal fees in a divorce?

Depending on several factors (such as the size of the marital estate, the length of the marriage and the level of contact between the spouses) the legal fees for a divorce can run anywhere from a couple thousand dollars for an uncontested divorce to tens of thousands of dollars for a complex, contested divorce. Typically, when they can afford it, each spouse pays their own legal fees. However, in cases where one spouse earns far more than the other, a judge might order the higher earning spouse to contribute to their spouse’s attorney fees. A court could also order that some of the marital assets be liquidated to pay the lesser earning spouse’s legal fees, with those proceeds being deducted from that party’s share of the assets.

  1. How will our property be divided between us?

In Tennessee as it happens in most states, either the two of you come to an agreement on how to divide your marital property between you, or you can take your case to court where a judge will divide your estate for you. Tennessee follows the equitable distribution model for property division in divorce, which means that the court tries to make sure that the marital assets are divided equitably, even if this does not mean a 50/50 split down the middle.

  1. Can I date while we are separated?

The short answer is no. You may be separated, not speaking to each other, living apart and have filed divorce papers, but you are still married. If you start dating while you are separated, that is still considered infidelity and it could have a negative impact on your divorce. If you have children, it may upset them and cause additional strife with your spouse. The safest rule is to wait until the divorce is final until you start kindling the flames of a new romance.

  1. Can a mediated agreement be appealed?

Given that the whole goal of mediation is to bring both parties to a mutual agreement, with very few exceptions, once you agree, sign the documents and the court approves it, you can’t just change your mind. If you feel as if you were defrauded somehow, or if you feel as if you were coerced into signing the agreement under duress, then you may have grounds to have the agreement set aside. You can talk with your attorney about your prospects of filing a motion to set aside the mediated agreement and tell the court on exactly what grounds you feel warrant the court setting it aside.

  1. Can a divorce be stopped after it has been filed?

If an agreement has not been filed with the court and if the judge has not yet issued a final decree, the petitioner can file a notice that he/she is dismissing the divorce. If this is what you want to do, be sure to let your attorney know right away that you want to drop the divorce case.

Of course, you will have many more questions concerning your own situation. You will want to sit down and have a chat with a Nashville divorce attorney who has broad experience and offers skilled negotiation to ensure that you get the best outcome possible.

Your friends and family members all have advice and anecdotes about divorce, but it is a better idea to consult with someone who knows what they are talking about. If you are wondering about what might happen if you decide to file for divorce, please call 615-391-4200 or fill out this form to contact the experienced Nashville divorce attorneys at Karla C. Miller and Associates, PLLC to discuss your case and get the answers you need. You are welcome to reserve an in-person or video consultation time with us right away.