Divorce is not a battle to be fought and won. At the base of it, divorce is really just the breaking of a contract; it’s a business transaction. However, because of all of the emotion involved in marital and family bonds, complicated relationships and financial struggles, divorce is often looked upon as an opportunity for one party to seek some kind of revenge on the other for past indiscretions and hurts. Acrimonious divorces are difficult for all involved, and the more adversarial the divorce, often the more expensive it will be. If a couple has a child together, they will have no choice but to be in each other’s lives for years to come, so if the divorce is an ugly fight, there is no basis for any kind of cooperative relationship going forward.

We have seen it all over the years of supporting clients as they dissolve their marriage and move on to a new life for themselves. Some of the choices you make during divorce will have a lasting impact on your life, so here are a few things to keep in mind during the turbulent, emotional time of divorce.

1. Resist the urge to fight it out.

Being adversarial only serves to increase the time it takes to make the divorce official. Conflicts and arguments will not make the process go any faster. Negotiation is the tool that will help both of you get as close to getting everything that you want as possible.

2. Consider the consequences of your choices and actions first.

When high emotion rules your behavior, disaster is often the result. Avoiding knee-jerk reactions to the antics of your spouse, thinking your decisions through carefully, and getting advice and guidance from your Nashville divorce attorney will help ensure that the decisions you make during your divorce will be sound ones that will add to the quality of your life when the divorce is over.

3. Always be honest with your divorce attorney.

Hiding things from your attorney or your spouse can have legal ramifications, and it is always embarrassing and usually detrimental to your case when the information comes out later. Full disclosure about financial information is a legal requirement and the court has the authority to impose penalties on spouses who are caught hiding marital assets or otherwise being deceitful for their own financial gain.

4. The importance of taking care of yourself.

Divorce can be an emotionally stressful and adversarial process. Never underestimate the power of spending some time with a counselor or therapist to discuss all of the emotions that the divorce is stirring up. Get enough sleep and keep your normal schedule. Self-care contributes greatly to your mental and emotional health, which is vital to getting through a divorce.

5. There are no “winners” in divorce.

When a marriage ends and a family is split apart, there are no winners. Everyone loses something, yet each one will find a way to move on with their lives, hopefully having learned something that will benefit them in the future. Going into a divorce with the aim or intention of winning is often counterproductive. Making a commitment to be fair without allowing yourself to be taken advantage of is a great start. There is nothing wrong with going after the best outcome you can as long as you understand the future consequences.

Working with your divorce attorney with honesty and a spirit of cooperation is an effective way of getting through divorce and coming out the other side with the ability to have at least a business-like rapport with your former spouse.

If you are thinking about your divorce options, you are welcome to call 615-391-4200 or contact the experienced Nashville legal team at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC to reserve an in-person or video consultation time to answer your questions about your specific needs and concerns.