While the divorce rate for Baby Boomers is on a steady rise, among younger age groups the divorce rate has seen a consistent decline according to an article printed last year in the New York Times. While the divorce rate is no longer at 50 percent (if it truly ever was that high), Americans are still ending their marriages at an alarming rate. And we are not talking about all of those celebrity marriages that end after just a few months. Average, everyday people often find it impossible to make their unions last forever. Here are ten of the most common reasons (in no particular order) people get divorced in the U.S.:
- Getting married too soon or when too young. When two people get married before they get the chance to know each other, or when the parties are too young to make such a significant commitment before they get the chance to know themselves they face challenging odds when it comes to trying to hold a marriage together.
- Getting married for the wrong reasons. One partner may marry the other for their looks, the other might marry for the money, or a host of different, insignificant reasons – and when it becomes clear how much work is required to make a marriage work, the parties give up easily.
- Lack of communication. The ability to communicate openly and honestly with a spouse, to have challenging conversations and to be able to tell the other person what is bothering them or what they need is a vital part of a healthy marriage relationship.
- Loss of intimacy / sexual problems. Spouses who are not getting their needs met in the bedroom often get bored. Loss of intimacy, diminished sexual attraction and energy between the two can lead to infidelity and ultimately to a breakdown of the relationship.
- Couples whose needs are not met in their relationship may begin to seek intimacy and excitement elsewhere. Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce, but there a many contributing factors that lead up to spouses feeling the need to cheat.
- Financial conflicts. Money problems, such as having different approaches to spending, managing and making important decisions about money, can lead to a breakdown in communication and lead to divorce if the couple does not take action to remedy the situation. The stress of being in debt may also contribute to the end of the marriage.
- Drug or alcohol addictions. If one spouse has problems with drug or alcohol addiction and they are spending all of their money to support their habit, being abusive, and just not upholding their responsibilities, the other spouse will most likely not want to remain married.
- Excessive arguing / inability to resolve conflicts. Good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. When spouses are not communicating effectively, intimacy is lost and they can begin to grow apart.
- Lack of trust. If one spouse is dishonest and the other is not able to trust them – or of one spouse suspects dishonesty even when there is none – it can make a marriage very difficult to sustain. Trust is another vital aspect to a strong marriage.
- In order to survive the stresses of life, two people must be interested in one another, have shared interests, and be able to have fun and enjoy one another’s company. Boredom can be another by-product of the lack of communication and intimacy.
These ten items do not cover every reason people divorce, but these are some of the most common, major issues that lead to the breakdown of a relationship. There are some differences that can be resolved through marriage counseling along with a commitment on the part of both spouses to put some effort into mending the relationship. In the end, if both parties are ready to call it quits, no amount of counseling will fix it.
When you believe that it is time to end your marriage, a Nashville divorce attorney can answer your questions and guide you through the divorce process.
When you realize that your marriage is over and you think it is time to think about divorce, you will need a skilled Nashville divorce attorney who will protect your interests. You are welcome to contact the knowledgeable legal team at Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC for more information.
Karla C. Miller has devoted her entire career to the practice of family law in Tennessee. She attended Auburn University and Nashville School of Law, and upon graduation in 1996, she opened her own law firm and has been assisting families throughout Tennessee since then. Learn more about Karla C. Miller here.
