Many people think a divorce has to be an ugly, costly, painful conflict where each party walks away feeling as if they lost out somehow. However, if the spouses who are ready to part ways have the maturity and the communication skills to come to an agreement that they would like a less acrimonious split, then the divorce mediation process might be their best option.

What is divorce mediation?

Mediation is a far less contentious process which brings the two parties to the table to discuss and negotiate on the points of disagreement. Make no mistake, mediation does not require you to be best friends with your spouse. However, it can be a more responsible approach to dividing the marital estate and making an effort to preserve what is left of the relationship between the couple, which will be helpful if they will need to learn how to co-parent in the future.

In mediation, each party still retains their own counsel. The mediator, who is a neutral third party, sits with the couple and they work out the details of the mutually acceptable marital dissolution agreement, which takes into consideration the usual topics of dividing marital assets and spousal support, and the Parenting Plan, which contains agreements about child custody and support. Once all of the points are agreed upon by each party, their counsel will draw up the written, binding agreement and then it will be filed with the court.

Why choose mediation?

For one thing, mediation is required under Tennessee Law.  However, it can be significantly more cost effective than litigating a divorce in court. The family saves the time and stress of being in a courtroom as well.

Furthermore, the mediation process is conducted in the privacy and security of the mediator’s office or at some other neutral location. If the mediation process is unsuccessful and the couple needs a judge to rule on the unresolved aspects of the agreement, the mediator will not be called to testify, and the mediation negotiations cannot be discussed during the trial.

If the couple has children, mediation is an effective tool for working out a parenting plan and how the two will go about co-parenting their child after the divorce. When they can emerge from the divorce with the ability to communicate and negotiate effectively, it can have a lasting, positive impact on their lives and their children’s lives.

Karla C. Miller is a Rule 31 Mediator who understands the benefits of proper mediation. To schedule an in-person or video consultation at our Nashville office, please contact the law firm of Miller Upshaw Family Law, PLLC.