We bet someone at some time in your life (probably your mother, if you’re anything like us) has uttered the words “Life isn’t fair” – and most likely, it was at a time when the last thing on earth you wanted to hear was that. But the sad truth is that when you’re in the middle of a divorce, it can certainly seem that way. And there’s no time when you’ll feel it more keenly than when the judge hands down his ruling on dividing your property and debts.

So what do you do when you think the judge didn’t grant you the assets you believe you’re entitled to have? First things first – get a lawyer. Then, bring a copy of your divorce decree to your attorney’s office and settle in for a long chat.

Know when to appeal and when to cut your losses

The appeals process is complicated and time consuming. You need to file your appeal within 30 days of the judgment, and you’ll need an experienced appellate attorney’s services.  It isn’t enough to simply say the judge was unfair; you and your attorney must prove that the judge made a mistake in his/her interpretation or application of the law, or that s/he abused his/her discretion.

Let’s say your spouse cheated on you, and you feel that because s/he did, you’re entitled to more of his/her pension. The judge says no, because your spouse didn’t spend pension funds or marital funds (like a savings account) to pay for lavish vacations away with his/her lover. At the end of the day, the judgment is probably not worth appealing, since the judge wasn’t wrong in the application of law. If, however, you can prove that the judge disallowed evidence that would prove that your spouse cashed in a joint IRA to take his/her “friend” to Bermuda for a weekend, you may have a stronger case for why you deserve a greater share of the assets.

It’s vitally important that you decide whether you really want to appeal the decision, as the process can take up to two years or more, and can cost you thousands of dollars. If you truly believe your asset division was inequitable, speak to an attorney about it. Then the two of you can decide what the best course of action is.